Thursday, September 16, 2004


A historical document regarding John Kerry’s war record was faxed to me by an irrefutable and unimpeachable source. Sure the author of this document happens to be conveniently dead. Here is the text of this important historical, real, truthful, perfectly acceptable, believable, document:

---Bellevue Hospital Psycho Ward fax Number 212-975-2787--------------

Brooklyn, July 21st, 1776.

Memo: CYA – Lt. Kerry

From: Gen. George Washington, CICCA. (Commander in Chief of the Continental Army)

To: File

John Kerry once again asked why we were fighting our lawful King when so many people didn’t even own a bed warmer. He said if he were king it would be free leaches for everyone.

He complained about his knee scrape and demanded a medal of valor for tripping on his own haversack. I told him to go get leached and forget about any medal.

Regarding the rumors about Kerry and Martha, BA (Benedict Arnold) informed me that, on his personal honor, his best friend John would never talk to Martha behind my back.

Martha says he did and that he specifically asked her how rich we are and what her plans are if I get killed in the war.

Some days I wish I had let Adams be CICCA, the little twerp.


Remember even if this was a fake document it’s the GODS HONEST TRUTH until John Kerry disproves it. Who knew the end justified the means?

To arms!!!


Blogger Rosemary said...

Dear ToArms,

This is so funny I am still laughing! And true! I was there! I don't remember writing it, but I know that this is how George felt. He also discussed John's shananagins with our Priest, which I happened to overhear! I can testify to that! It's too bad that I am also dead, though! Good hunting...Adams.

September 21, 2004 at 4:58 AM  
Blogger josh narins said...

I remember all the times George Washington ordered the massacre of women and children, that anyone or anything could be fired upon.

No, that was Vietnam, silly me.

Free-Fire Zones are a violation of the Geneva Convention, and hence war crimes.

Vietnam officers were giving orders to participate in these efforts. Similarly, John O'Neill, in June 1971, admitted to participating in Free-Fire Zones.

If George Washington had heard of the rape of women or children by US soldiers (and don't even TRY to tell me that wasn't going on) he would have had the offenders executed. Instead, Westmoreland and those creeps covered it up.

Who was the hero? Who was right?

Now, for the record, early American troops were mostly at liberty to treat Native Americans as badly as we treated the Vietnamese.

Your weak attempt at humor shows glaring holes.

November 7, 2004 at 3:32 PM  

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